Help your teen manage exam nerves

Dec 27, 2025
5 min read

Updated: Jul 22

It’s perfectly natural for your child to be worried about taking exams and how they'll perform. You might even be a little worried too. In small doses, anxiety can be a good thing, helping your child focus, get motivated to study, and even recall answers they didn't realise they'd learnt. Prolonged periods or bouts of intense anxiety may have a negative impact, but there are lots of ways you can help them manage it and use routines to keep calm. In some cases anxiety can reach exceptional levels and professional support is required. How can you tell the difference? We'll give a brief summary below, and more details can be found in The Parents' Guide to Teenage Stress and Anxiety.

Signs of anxiety and stress

It’s good to be aware of the signs of anxiety and stress so you can watch out for them. A change in behaviour for a day or two might be nothing to worry about, but if you notice a regular change, it’s usually a sign that something is wrong.

Some of the more common signs of anxiety include:

losing interest in things they’ve previously enjoyed
behaving in the opposite way to usual (quiet children can become very chatty, chatty children can get withdrawn)
being grumpy and irritable
lots of headaches and digestive problems (stomach aches, diarrhoea, constipation, vomiting)
worrying all the time, which can show itself in only picturing negative outcomes (what if I fail, I’m going to fail, I can’t do this)
talking over and over the same concern and being unable to stop thinking about it or find relief
physical symptoms (sweaty palms, shaking, fast heartbeat, aching muscles)
restlessness and being unable to stay still
inability to concentrate (such as taking in what’s happening in a TV programme)
panic attacks
not sleeping

Remember to keep perspective. If they’ve had several late nights, they're likely to be tired, and this increases irritability. If they’ve been exercising, they might have aching muscles. If they’ve just run to meet you, they’ll have a fast heart rate. Individual or short-term combinations of the above symptoms are normal.

How to help with exam nerves

If you notice your child is suffering, it’s time to help them. That doesn’t always mean stepping in (that could add to the anxiety), although it’s good to let them know you’ve noticed something’s wrong and give them a chance to talk if they want to. Avoid broaching the subject in front of others, as this could make them feel embarrassed or inadequate and make things worse (they might think they're doing a good job of hiding it). Don’t forget, the aim isn’t to eliminate anxiety but to teach them how to manage it.

There are two ways to help: some short-term remedies and some long-term strategies. For the former, encourage them to take part in an activity that provides a distraction so they stop thinking about whatever is making them anxious. Giving the brain some time out from worrying can help them get a better perspective later.

Physical activities - it doesn’t matter what the activity is (dancing, football, swimming, walking) as long as it’s something they enjoy, gets their endorphins flowing and requires focus, so the mind concentrates on something different. Team games are great, as connecting and communicating with others is restorative.

Music - music has an amazing ability to transport you to a different time and place. Anything that evokes positive memories and experiences is a good thing. To reduce anxiety, it’s better to listen to relaxing, calming music rather than something stimulating.

Talking - it may not be to you! A sibling, grandparent, family friend, friend at school or perhaps a charity chatline. Expressing worries out loud can make them feel less significant than when they’re playing on loop in the mind. Talking aloud also encourages finding their own solutions; prompts such as 'what would need to happen to make you feel better?' can help them reframe towards solutions rather than dwelling on troubles.

Laughing - releases feel-good hormones, so encourage them to watch an episode of a favourite comedy or some YouTube clips so they can laugh out loud.

The second way to help is to give them the chance to learn some proven techniques that reduce anxiety. It’s a really good idea for your child to practise some of these when they’re not anxious, so they can familiarise themselves with the approaches and get comfortable with how it makes them feel. Then, should anxiety strike, it’s something they’re relaxed about doing. Regularly practising relaxation techniques helps keep anxiety at bay too. Some good choices are:

Breathing techniques are an effective way to regulate the physical symptoms caused by stress. Learning slow, deep breathing has an immediate physical effect and is particularly useful in preventing anxiety escalating.

Meditation, visualisation and yoga all encourage positive breathing techniques. Apps like Headspace can be loaded on the phone so your child has help to hand in any place at any time. Practising yoga regularly has been shown to improve heart rate as well as physical strength. It takes a lot of concentration to get the positions right, which prevents the mind wandering to other things. Meditation transports the mind to a completely different place and experience.

Breathing, yoga and meditation can be done in short or long bursts, alone or in groups, which makes them ideal to use on the go or as a ready tool when nerves strike.

Herbs and smells - for centuries we’ve used herbs and smells to invoke different atmospheres. Essential oils can be burnt in diffusers, added to baths, placed on candles, mixed with water as a spritz or poured on a tissue (great for on the go), and are inexpensive to buy. Some useful staples are lemon (promotes concentration and calm), lavender (reduces stress and can help sleep), jasmine (uplifting and calming), peppermint (invigorating, so helps clear the mind) and rosemary (a pick-me-up). Herbal teas are a great caffeine-free hot drink and, as well as the smell, the herbs work within the system too. Try camomile, peppermint, lavender or lemon balm.

Where to get support

Don’t be tough on yourself and expect to have all the solutions for your child’s needs. It’s absolutely fine to call on professionals to help you help them. Professional support includes more than counsellors and psychiatrists (although both can be helpful). There’s a range of options available, including:

Teachers at school, both in an academic capacity to help them understand subjects better, as tutors to help create better ways of working outside school, and pastoral experts who can help with emotional issues.
Some schools have an independent counsellor your children can talk to in confidence (i.e. they won't relay the information to the school).
Peer support networks, which can be very helpful, as speaking to someone of a similar age, or someone slightly older who has recently been through a similar experience, can feel easier and very reassuring.
Charities, most of which now offer both online and telephone support. This anonymity can make talking over problems and worries easier. Anxiety UK and Mind are great places to start.

If your child is showing several signs of anxiety on a regular basis (several days each week) over a prolonged period (several weeks), do seek help from external support services. A good place to start might be a visit to your GP.