Going to bed - how to help your teen get enough sleep
- The Parents' Guide to
- Aug 4
- 5 min read
Updated: Aug 31
This is just a snippet from The Parents' Guide to Homelife and Study. If you’d like the full version, with clear, up-to-date advice, practical tips and actions you can take at home, click below.
Sleep is an essential part of good health, so make sure your child is getting enough rest. Of course, this can be easier said than done, so let's look at ways to head towards this goal.
Teenagers need a lot of sleep given the huge changes taking place in their bodies – somewhere between eight and ten hours each night. Tempting though it may be for them to study late into the night, they will be much better off putting work aside and getting into bed. Of course, studying is not always the problem! They also need to stop scrolling or watching boxsets to allow enough time for a good night’s sleep—blue light and late-night stimulation delay sleep.
Many teenagers view bedtime as a punishment rather than a reward – it’s eating into time they’d rather spend doing something else. So it’s important that you help them understand the benefits of getting a good night’s sleep: such as better concentration so they can get things done quicker; feeling more alert so they can take in information more effectively, and having more energy to get the most out of their day.
To find the right time to go to sleep, they should work backwards! If they have to get up at 7.00am, then they need to be asleep by 11.00pm – which probably means being in bed much earlier – after all, not many of us fall asleep as soon as we get into bed. Be firm about bedtime when they’re in their mid-teens. At this stage you can insist they go to bed at the right time which should encourage them to stick to a similar routine when they reach their late teens when it’s not so easy for you to tell them what to do.
Mobiles and screens – setting boundaries at bedtime
Getting enough sleep can be severely impaired by your teen’s ready access to a 24/7 online community via social media, not to mention their compulsion to play games and catch up with box sets late into the night.
Encourage good habits. At least 30 mins screen-free time before settling down to sleep is always a good idea. It doesn’t mean doing nothing or taking their phone away – they could listen to audio books, podcasts or relaxing music, where the phone is closed (so no glare or visual stimulation) and they can enjoy listening to something relaxing as they drift off to sleep. There are timers too, so they don’t need to fret that if they do fall asleep, their phone will be running all night.
Get them to use their mobiles to their advantage! Set phones to bedtime mode during sleeping hours so that they’re not distracted by the tempting ping of alerts and messages – which they feel they must immediately view. The names may vary depending on whether they have Android or Apple phones (for example “DND - do not disturb” or "Sleep Focus"), but the functionality is similar. It helps them automatically silence mst incoming calls and messages at times they set, whilst allowing exceptions for emergency numbers. They can also use the phone’s night screen settings to reduces screen glare throughout the evening (white light on bright screens prevents sleepiness). Establishing good phone habits now will benefit them hugely later in life too.
Day and night: Healthy phone habits will help teens sleep better
Creating rules for the whole family can be an effective way of encouraging boundaries around phone use. When you’re all in it together, they don’t feel singled out. Of course, this means you have to stick to the rules too!
no phones at the table during mealtimes
no phone use when watching TV/films together as a family
no phones before school/work
no phone use after 10:00 pm
Going to bed - Creating a routine to help your teen get enough sleep
Creating a “bedtime” routine, such as switching the phone to silent, putting it away 30 minutes before bed, taking a bath, having a hot drink and dimming the lights can all help calm the mind and prepare it for sleep. Sticking to a similar routine every night signals to the body that it is time for bed and helps it switch off so try to get your child into the habit of doing the same things before bed and going to sleep at a similar time (especially on week nights).
Encourage your teen to keep a notebook where any worries or important things to do the next day can be jotted down. This prevents the mind turning over once the lights go out and fretting about forgetting things thus preventing sleep.
If they share a room, curtaining off their sleeping area helps give them some personal space.
Practical tips to help get enough sleep
Keeping the room at the right temperature, making sure it's clutter free, using clean sheets and darkening the room at night time are all practical ways you can encourage your teen to enjoy better sleep.
Avoid lie-ins
At the other end of the day, try to set a routine so they get up at a similar time each morning and, hard though it may be, try to limit lie-ins at the weekend to just an extra hour or so in bed. Long lie-ins disrupt their sleeping rhythm, making it harder for them to go to sleep at an appropriate time on Sunday night and consequently, making it harder for them to wake up on time on Monday mornings.
Where possible, bedtimes and get-up times should be similar from one day to the next allowing the body to synch to a regular cycle. Make plans for weekend mornings so they have a reason to get up if there aren’t activities they can do through school or if they aren’t inclined to organise anything themselves.
Self-reliance builds resilience
If your teen is struggling to get up every morning, encourage them to call the National Sleep Helpline run by the Teen Sleep Hub. This UK charity has lots of resources for teens, and your teen may be more likely to act on advice given to them from an independent source than a close family member - even if the advice is exactly the same!
Empowering your teen to take charge of their own behaviours should also help boost their confidence. It's good for them to know they solve problems for themselves by taking steps towards solutions.
Don't make it a battle
It’s not easy telling teens what to do. It might be possible to put your foot down with younger teens and insist on certain behaviours at bedtime (such as phones off) but this may not be possible with older teens. However, if you can be firm about bedtime and winding down before sleep when they’re in their mid-teens, there’s a better chance they’ll continue good habits by themselves in the future.
Whatever their age, have conversations with your teen about using mobiles sensibly. Try to have these conversations at times when neither of you are tired nor emotional. This will avoid heated discussions or rows and you’re much more likely to reach a compromise that suits you both.
Walk your talk!
Are you, as their parent, setting a good example? It might be harder for them to get into good sleep patterns if you are not following the advice you give them.
Find out more
If you’d like to know more about how you can support your child with their schoolwork and study, including how to create a supportive home environment, you may be interested in : The Parent’s Guide to Homelife and study - GCSEs or The Parents' Guide to Homelife and study - sixth form
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