Is your child anxious about going back to school? How to tell and what to do
- Aug 1, 2025
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 22
This is just a snippet from The Parents' Guide to Teenage Stress and Anxiety. If you’d like the full version, with clear, up-to-date advice, practical tips and actions you can take at home, click below.
Read the full guide: The Parents' Guide to Teenage Stress and Anxiety
Many teenagers are pleased to go back to school, with the chance of regular contact with friends and a familiar, structured environment. But that's not true for everyone. If your teen's showing signs of worry about heading back to the classroom, here are practical ideas of what to look out for and what you can do at home to help them feel comfortable and less anxious.
How to tell if they're anxious: signs to watch out for
If your teen is open in their communication with you, that’s great, you know what’s going on. If they’re less talkative, some signs they’re anxious about being back at school may include:
a reluctance to go to school, perhaps even feigning illness to avoid it
irritability, either generally or particularly if you mention anything to do with school
not doing schoolwork
avoiding talking about school and changing the subject if you mention it
lots of headaches and digestive problems (stomach aches, diarrhoea, constipation, vomiting)
not sleeping
What to do if they're anxious: get listening
Talk to your teen so you can find out how they feel and whether anything is unsettling them. Rather than asking if they’re OK or if something’s worrying them, which could make them clam up, talk in more general terms about good times they’ve had at school, how their friends are, and what’s coming up that they might enjoy. Spend as much time as you can listening rather than talking yourself.
If they do express concerns, remember their point of view may not align with your priorities, so find out what’s on their mind by listening, and tempting though it may be, don’t interrupt. If you don’t have answers, don’t pretend; either admit you don’t know but will find out, or if there isn’t an answer, be as truthful as possible and focus on the positives. It’s not always necessary to have solutions to make them feel better; sometimes just being heard is enough.
Do they know their new schedule?
Make sure they're well prepared for the new academic year, with all the practical things they need such as uniform, sports kit and stationery, and copies of their new timetable and when to do homework in which subject. Whether they’re in GCSE or sixth form, this is equally important. If they’re going to a new school, make sure they know how long it takes to get there and the best route.
Keeping in touch with friends
Friendship is especially important to teens, so let them keep in touch with friends, even if that means more time online. They may have spent most of the day together at school, but there's bound to be things they want to go over in the evening.
For those going to new schools or colleges, it’s important they can stay connected to friends who aren't going with them, particularly early on before they've had a chance to make new ones.
Being online
Online resources are great for staying up to date and getting the latest information, but they’re also a magnet for alarmist stories and scaremongering, especially on social media where articles and opinions are widely shared without being checked for accuracy. Check what your teens are reading online and try to make sure they aren't bombarding themselves with information (or misinformation) every waking minute, as this can reinforce panicky feelings.
Creating a new home routine
With their return to school, you’ll need to re-establish a routine at home. Where possible, make sure there's some family time every day, preferably over a meal, but even a cup of tea if eating together isn’t possible. Reassure them that you're still there for them. Having a regular time to chat about each other’s day, without an agenda, makes sharing feelings easier than a 'let’s sit down and talk' scenario.
Be practical
Take care of their physical health by making sure they eat well, get plenty of sleep and stay active. This can be tricky to reinforce after the long summer holidays, when there’s more flexibility around bedtimes and mealtimes, but the quicker they get back into healthy habits the better.
We're heading towards the colder, shorter days of winter, when they may be more susceptible to feeling tired or unwell, so helping them do all they can to boost their wellbeing and immune system puts them on the right track for later in the year.
Be positive
Try to keep a positive atmosphere at home. Talk about good experiences during the day, things to look forward to, and feel-good news stories, and try to make the time you have together enjoyable. If your teen is feeling anxious, a positive environment may help them enjoy the current moment and look forward to the future.
Improve their mental wellbeing
Teach them how to improve their mental health and reduce feelings of panic, with long-term strategies such as deep breathing, meditation and spending time in a soothing environment. Use short-term fixes, such as listening to their favourite music, watching something funny, or doing something to distract them for a while (and give their mind a rest), if you need to help them reduce anxiety in the moment. Don’t forget, the aim isn’t to eliminate anxiety but to teach them how to manage it.
Keep their school informed
Whether your teen is struggling a little or a lot, notify the school so they can provide appropriate additional support. Don’t worry that the problem isn’t big enough to trouble them; they'll appreciate hearing your concerns and the chance to help early, rather than after the problem has escalated.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Don’t be tough on yourself and expect to have all the solutions. It’s absolutely fine to call on professionals. Professional support includes more than counsellors and psychiatrists (although both can be helpful). There’s a range of options, including teachers at school, independent school counsellors, peer support networks and charities. You can always ask your GP for help too.
If your child is anxious about going back to school, don't forget
This isn't a challenge that can be resolved with a one-off solution. It's likely to be an ongoing issue that can be improved over time by following some of the suggestions in this blog. Focus on finding out what makes them feel better and doing more of that, so you can shift their mindset from negative to positive associations.
Worried about your teen's stress or wellbeing?
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